The Boundaries Talk
FMF: her, him, and another woman. Yes / not sure / no.
The FMF talk: her, him, and another woman, and it rarely plays out the way either of you expects. Six stages, in the order a decision is actually made: where this is for each of you, the scene, who leads and who the night is for, the fears, the other woman, and the rules between you. Each of you answers every line, yes, not sure or no, side by side; on the scene there is a fourth answer, only as a fantasy. Yes-on-yes is what you both want; the rest is what to talk about.
Every question gets both answers: her circle and his, side by side, nothing hidden. Fill it together on one screen, where the talking is the point; link two phones and watch each other's answers land live; or answer alone first and send the link. A yes isn't a promise, and you move at the pace of the slower partner, always. Not-sures move, so come back and change them. Your answers are saved under a private link.
Keep this
Saved under a private link. Open it on any phone and the list is there, both columns.
Safari on iPhone forgets this page after a week away. Add your email and the list can't be lost.
Get it back anywhere. Your email is the key, no password.
One link, nothing else. Your answers stay with this email until you ask us to delete them.
You've said it out loud. The stories are where you try what you circled.
What this checklist is
An FMF boundaries checklist for couples: 180 questions about her, him, and another woman, in six stages, answered before anything happens. Every question gets both circles, hers and his, on the same line.
How it works
Six stages, in the order a decision is actually made. First, where this is for each of you: one pick each, and the ways you already play with the idea. Then the scene, line by line, with a fourth answer, only as a fantasy, for the things that are hot to think about and not for real; on the ladders, tap yes at your line and the empty rungs below fill in, tap no above it and the empty rungs past it fill in. Then who leads: whose idea, who picks, who directs, who can stop it. Then the fears, hers and his, once the scene has made them concrete. Then the third: who, where from, and what happens before anything. Then the rules between you and what comes after. If it is a fantasy for both of you, the third and the rules are optional. At the end, one image with the lines and everything you both said yes to.
Three ways to fill it, as on the Menu: together on one screen; on two phones, each your own column, live; or just me, alone first, then a link for your partner, sealed until you have both finished. Answers save as you tap, under a private link, so you can pick it up on any phone and move any circle later.
What it covers
- 1 · Where this is for each of you Where it is for you, Playing with it
- 2 · The scene The other woman, with him, The other woman, with her, All three together, Watching, Cumming
- 3 · Who leads Who leads
- 4 · The fears His fears, Her fears
- 5 · The third What she's like, Finding her, Before anything
- 6 · Between us Protection & ground rules, After & again
Questions
Is this for a first FMF?
Yes, that's the point. Most first-threesome problems are things nobody said out loud beforehand: who the night is for, what she does with each of you, whether the two women are the centre or he is, what happens if one of you wants to stop halfway. The list asks all of it in plain words, in the order the decision gets made, and the lines you both mark yes become your rules for the night.
Is a yes a promise?
No. A yes means I could want this, and on the scene lines "only as a fantasy" is there for the things you want to keep as one. You move at the pace of the slower partner, always, and a not-sure today is allowed to be a no tomorrow.
Does the other woman see this?
No. This is for the two of you. What you tell her afterwards is a separate conversation, and the "Between us" stage is where those rules get written.
Is it free?
Yes. No signup. Your answers get a private link; add an email only if you want them back on another phone.
Where do our answers go?
They're saved under a private link the moment you tap, so you can close the tab, switch phones, or come back next month. Only the two of you have the link. We never sell or share what you circle, and we delete it when you ask.
We want the MFM version.
It's here. Same frame, different questions.
What comes after the talk?
The stories. Each one is a rehearsal for something you circled, played together, one choice at a time, and The Poker Game is free from start to finish. If you haven't mapped the wider picture yet, The Menu is the yes / no / maybe list that covers everything.